In this age we are living in, where we are facing worldwide failures of economy and most countries being bailed out, it is not surprising if you have financial difficulties in your marriage. You are sure to hit financial tidal waves; especially the newly weds - being hit the hardest, as this is a phenomenon that nobody can avoid.
The causes and burdens of financial issues in a marriage
Research has proven that financial issues are the primary reason for 90 percent of divorce cases in the world today. It's not a matter of what you earn that leads to difficulties but your spending habits, where the right hand does not know what the left hand is doing. This usually is more vivid in relationships where there is a total lack of communication.
There are various causes for financial problems in a marriage. Situations such as uncertainty, unemployment, and financial hardship will surely hurt your marriage if the two of you avoid talking with one another or if either of you prefer hiding your head in the sand instead of dealing with the issues at hand.
Practical solutions to avoid financial issues in a marriage
There are various principles that couples can adhere to, so they can avoid money problems. Below are a few suggestions:
First of all, being honest with each other is very important.. You need to share your concerns over money and deal with them in a respectful way. As a result of them finding common grounds to deal with their financial issues, couples with differing financial habits and attitudes have been able to make it work and so can you.
Take some time off to think about your financial expectations and goals. Try to come up with solutions about your family's attitude towards spending and their financial habits and together set realistic expectations and goals that are achievable. Do not spend what you do not have, learn to differentiate between what you want and actually need, credit cards and unnecessary loans will only sink you further. If you want something, save up until you can actually get them. You will have to learn how to prioritize your goals, e.g. what to spend on children, pets, home, bills, savings, entertainment etc. Develop and live within a budget.
Money should not be a cause for divorce, so avoid having a fight over it at all costs. If you spend too much time fighting over money instead of nurturing your home, it will surely bring financial stress in your marriage. In turn this is what leads to couples deciding that they would be better on their own, without realizing that they also take the burdens of their debts with them when they do get divorce and it also bring with it more financial burdens, which you could have avoided, if you had only sort out your financial problems instead of running away from them. Very often, people who are under stress often fail to notice and acknowledge the good in their spouses and children. Instead of showing gratitude, they try their best to undermine them and as a result mutual trust and obligations in a healthy family are lost completely, creating the psychological equivalent of a credit crunch and as a last resort, divorce.
Today, there are various institutions where people with deep financial difficulties can get help and advice. If your problems are so severe that you feel that you are not able to get out of them on your own, then try to get the financial help if needed. It does not mean that you are sharing your marriage problems with the outside world, but it is a chance for both of you to get to talk about it with professionals and together work towards a common solution. Believe me, it does work.
Following these tips will bring a financial bond into your marriage and a sense of empowerment as you make progress in accomplishing your financial goals together. No one likes to talk about money, but very often, it is necessary. By starting early in the marriage, you can create a healthy habit so money talk will become a natural part of your relationship. Remember, you are a team, keep the conversations flowing and together, you will be able to work things out.
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